Letter from Wendy 11/03/09

Fourth Email...

Casey please don't ever think you're rambling to me! I have so enjoyed your e-mails and I thank you for being patient with me about the facebook thing and indulging my need for e-mails instead. I know it is more difficult, but I appreciate it. I may come around after all and get on facebook. I'm still thinking it over.
First of all, I want to say it really shows in your writing how much you've grown in the Lord. I am impressed by your spiritual maturity and your expression of it. It really touches my heart to hear you enjoying your relationship with Jesus SO much! I have been so down lately, and your uplifting e-mail to me reminding me of God's love and strength, and also that I am taking away other's blessings when I don't allow them to help me, was exactly what I needed. I mean exactly. You are right. I would want to help someone in my situation not because I want recognition or accolades from them, but I would do it out of obedience to God. So when people come here it is because God sent them and who am I to question or reject God? Since I read that I have tried to have a new attitude about it and it has helped. I know it won't be forever, and I also know that I could never do this on my own. So I should just enjoy the help, and the company, while I can and try to honor God in the process. That, after all, is my number one priority in life now. To honor God in all I do. Whining about how miserable and sad I am certainly does not do that. I am sorry. I really am finding joy in the situation now believe it or not. Anyway, you really are a blessing and I am overjoyed at the changes I see in you. Also that I have you back as a friend. I didn't realize how much I'd missed talking to you. I've known you longer than any of my other friends and have shared more with you. It is nice to have someone who "knew me when..." to keep me reminded of how far God has brought me.
I would love if you would share your humbling experience with me when you are ready. You mentioned it before, and I really want to hear your testimony. Again, I love hearing about you and what's been going on all these years. I don't get out of the house much, so sometimes e-mail is my link to the adult world. Your last e-mail about the girls was great. I have wondered about them, and prayed for them, and it is nice to hear details about their little lives. Since they were little I have written all of your birthdays on my calendar every year. My mom asked me once why, since we had lost touch and hadn't spoken in quite awhile, did I still keep track of the dates. I told her it is because when I pass by the calendar and see one of your names written there it reminds me to pray for you. I prayed for you and those girls even when we weren't keeping up with each other. I didn't, and still don't, know all of what went on in your life, but I prayed for you just the same.
That is great news about Carli! I will certainly pray with you. I know you don't want to get your hopes up, but I am excited for you. I know as a mother it is killing you not being with them every day. I was only away from my babies for two weeks and thought I'd die from missing them. My boys are the best part of me. You said you wanted to know about them, so I'll tell you. When I was pregnant with Ethan God told me He had a big purpose for that little boy. When he was an infant, I could feel the angels all around him when I'd hold him. I could see in his eyes that he had recently been WITH GOD, and he could remember! He was such a peaceful baby, and I could just tell somehow that he came straight from God's arms to mine and he knew it. Since then he has grown into a smart and polite little man. He worries about people and prays the sweetest prayers about things I sometimes didn't even know he was thinking. The moment I became a mom I knew it was exactly what God had intended for me to be. It is the most important job He has ever given me. As a woman I feel so lucky that God put me here to support and take care of three of His Christian men so they can do great things for Him.
As for Elijah, my experience with him has been so different from Ethan's. Not worse, just different. I can't hold him much, and I am busy recovering so we are still getting to know each other. We are just starting to bond and I really think he knows I am his mommy now. I waited when I was pregnant for God to give me a message about him like He did with Ethan, but one never came. Then, the day after I had him, 12 hours before the world fell apart, a phone call came to the hospital room. I was holding him and Chris answered the phone and a lady from our church who we know but only on a casual basis told him a strange thing. She asked Chris to forgive her for being so bold and said she knew she sounded crazy, but that morning she had been talking to God about us and our new baby and praying for us to be well, and God told her that "He has a big purpose for this new little boy", and for us not to worry, that everything would be just fine. She didn't know what that meant, and neither did we. I just cried because those were the exact words God had said to me when I was pregnant with Ethan. I KNEW her message had to be straight from God! How could she know those words? But what did God mean, "everything would be just fine"? Well, later that night when I was being prepped for heart surgery Kathy's words from God came rushing back to me. Chris too. Chris told the whole waiting room full of family, friends, and church members that story about Kathy's phone call and how God said everything would be fine and he expected everyone there to keep that in mind. He was so strong and never lost faith that I would be okay, and I think that message from God was why. Anyway, we know now that my heart would have failed even if I didn't have a baby, but the fact that I did just have a baby and was in the hospital already when it did fail, in the Heart Institute no less, I was able to survive it. Aortic dissections are often fatal and several doctors have said had I not been IN the hospital when it happened I would have surely died. So Elijah saved my life. That's his big purpose, and I am forever grateful to him for that.
Anyway, now I am rambling! Please keep me posted about the Carli situation and I will keep you all in my prayers. Also, let me know what comes of your visit to the church you told me about. Type back when you can.
Love,Wendy